Marriage can be a battlefield, but a new study conducted at UC Berkeley has found that when it comes to keeping the peace, it’s more important for wives than for husbands to calm down after a heated argument.
While both spouses were equally able to cool down during conflicts, the husbands’ emotional regulation had little or no bearing on long-term marital satisfaction, according to the study’s findings.
“When it comes to managing negative emotion during conflict, wives really matter,” said psychologist Lian Bloch, lead author of the study.
Bloch and fellow researchers at Berkeley and Northwestern University analysed videotaped interactions of more than 80 middle-aged and older heterosexual couples, focusing on how they recovered from disagreements. Time and again they found that marriages in which wives quickly calmed down during disputes were ultimately shown to be the happiest, both in the short and long run.
“Emotions such as anger and contempt can seem very threatening for couples. But our study suggests that if spouses, especially wives, are able to calm themselves, their marriages can continue to thrive,” Bloch said.
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